Another day in the life of the cast of FFVII
by CloudTrueSoldier
Summary: A strange depiction of the FFVII crew playing a quick game of GT3
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: FFVII belongs to Square. GT3 belongs to Polyphony and Sony. PS2 and Dual shock2 and PS1 all belong to Sony. And uhh...anything else that belongs to anyone belongs to them and not me.  
  
  
Cloud sat, a seemingly normal Dual Shock controller resting in his hands. The rest of the FFVII crew sat or stood in various places of Cloud's room.  
  
Yuffie: "Hey Cloud, I didn't know you wore boxers!"  
  
Cloud suddenly begins to yell and scream at the TV screen.  
  
Barret: "What the hell?"  
  
Cid: "He lost the $%@##%$ race, that son of %#@$@ pulled out in front of him at the %#@$#@% finish line, that !@$ hole!"  
  
Yuffie, who know had a pair of Cloud's boxers on her head: "Jeez Cid, you're more into this game than Cloud."  
  
Cloud, who is continually slamming the controller into the ground: "Damnit all to Sephiroth's tomb!"  
  
Sephiroth: "That's not funny."  
  
Tifa: "I thought it was."  
  
Sephiroth then sticks his togue out at Tifa, Tifa flips him off.  
  
Aeris: "Wow, the graphics on this game are pretty good."  
  
Cid: "No %#@$ sherlock? It's only Gran Turismo Three!"  
  
Vincent: "Grand what?"  
  
Cid: "GRAN TOURISMO THREE!!! The pinacle of human creation. Graphics that rival life!"  
  
Aeris: "I think FMV is better."  
  
Cloud: "I wonder why people even like this game, it sucks."  
  
Cid: "IT SUCKS!?!?! Gimme that %#@$% controller!" Cid proceeds to grab the controller and begin racing. He spins out on the first turn. "%@#$#@%&)#@(&%@#($&5$(@#$7%!@&$)# THIS GAME SUCKS!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Everyone begins to laugh until Cid turns on them with his Spear. Sephiroth draws his Masamune.  
  
Sephiroth: "HAHAHA I am the only one with enough skill to control this sword. Now I will prove that I can do the same with that controller!"  
  
Sephiroth takes the Dual Shock2 (c playstation 2 sony etc) He restarts the race and begins to drive. At first he seems to do alright until he spins out, three times in a row.  
  
Sephiroth: "Damnit! It cheats!!" He rips out the controller, tosses it into the air, and slashes it in half.  
  
Cloud: "HEY!!"  
  
Red, who is clunked on the head by half the controller and awoken from his nap. "Excuse me, but if I could just get a little rest for once."  
  
Yuffie: "Then why're ya at Cloud's?"  
  
Red: "I...uh...hummmm..."  
  
Yuffie shakes her head in dismay, the boxers shifting about on her head.  
  
Tifa: "Yuffie, what the hell are you doing with Cloud's boxers?"  
  
Yuffie: "I uhh...well..."  
  
Aeris begins to laugh insanely: "I wonder if Cloud ever soiled em!!"  
  
Yuffie immediatly rips them off and throughs them at Cloud, who has resumed play with his extra controller, which happened to cost him 500,000 gil. The boxers fall over his face, yet he somehow continues driving with his eyes covered.  
  
Cid: "Holy hell! He made the mind link with the Playstation2, he had achieved a new level of being!"  
  
Barret: "Why the %@$# haven't I been talking?"  
  
Everyone looks strangely at Barret, who appears he has just snapped out of a deep sleep. They shrug in unison.  
  
  
Barret: "%#@$!!! Look at those graphics!!! Hey Cloud, use a summon to blast that guy in front of you!"  
  
Cid: "There are no summons in Gran Tourismo Three!"  
  
Barret: "No summons?!?! What the hell? Guns? Bullets? Materia?"  
  
Cid: "No. No. No."  
  
Barret: "You're sure?"  
  
Cid: Yes."  
  
Barret: No materia?"  
  
Cid: "NO!"  
  
Barret: Positive?"  
  
Yuffie smacks Barret over the head with half of the broken controller. Barret falls back into the deep sleep.  
  
Cloud wins the race and snaps out of his mind link. "Hey! Who put these on my head? These are the pants I crapped in!"  
  
Yuffie turns green as everyone else laughs.  
  
Sephiroth: "Give me another try at that game, I'm sure i'll get it this time."  
  
The group watches as Barret selects a car and a course.  
  
Tifa: "What does Endurance Race mean?"  
  
Cid: "The longest races in the game."  
  
Aeris: "Oh great..."  
  
Cait Sith: "I predict another broken controller, and since I predicted it, it will come true."  
  
Yuffie: "You're so full of yourself!"  
  
Cloud: "Is it my turn yet?"  
  
Sephiroth: "Shut up! I just started damnit!"  
  
Cloud: "Howabout now?"  
  
Sephiroth: "Grrr!"  
  
Cloud huddles into the corner.  
  
Squall suddenly walks into the room.  
  
Squall: "Hey whoa, look at those graphics. They're not much compared to FFVIII, but compared to FFVII..."  
  
Cloud: Shut up Squall, no one likes you!"  
  
Fans of FFVIII burst into the room (all five of em).  
  
Squall: "See, I DO have faithful followers!"  
  
Crew of FFVII burst into laughter.  
  
Squall: "I don't see any fans of FFVII here. So there!"  
  
Sephiroth spins out in the game. "DAMNIT I WAS WINNING!!" He gets up, sees the five new commers, slashes them into nothing then goes back to his endurance race.  
  
Squall: "Umm...hey, that wasn't very nice.  
  
Sephiroth: "Shut up you anti-social reject."  
  
Squall turns his back on the group: "Hmpff, I'm not talking to you guys."  
  
Cloud: "Is that supposed to make us mad?"  
  
Squall: "I'm not talking to you so I can't answer."  
  
Yuffie: "But you just did."  
  
Squall: "SHUT UP YOU SLUT!!!"  
  
Yuffie: "I'm not a slut!"  
  
Squall: "You're pants are undone!"  
  
Aeris: "He has a point."  
  
Yuffie bitch slaps Squall and does up her pants.  
  
Squall: "I feel rejected!!" He then begins to cry.  
  
Rinoa runs into the room: "Oh Squall, what's wrong?"  
  
Squall, stops crying: "Nothing."  
  
Rinoa: "That's all you ever say!"  
  
Squall: "Nothing."  
  
Rinoa: "Damnit Squall carry on a normal conversation!"  
  
Squall: "Nothing, I'm fine."  
  
Cloud: "That's it, let's fight!"  
  
Red suddenly wakes up: "Yes, ready your weapons, and prepare your materia."  
  
Squall looks around confused. "What the hell is a materia?"  
  
Cid: "Gawd, they don't know what materia is! How do they manage to fight?"  
  
Squall: "We use guardian forces!"  
  
Tifa: "Hey, I heard of those, don't they make you lose your memory and stuff. That's really gotta suck."  
  
Squall: "Well uhh...yea..."  
  
Cloud takes out a red materia and it begins to glow. He summons Ifirt.  
  
Squall: "Hey I have an If-" He is cut off as he is burnt to a crisp. "Owwy."  
  
Sephiroth: "DAMNIT!! CAN'T YOU PEOPLE BE QUIET!! I'M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE!!!"  
  
Zell walks in punching and kicking: "Hey hey hey! Who wants to fight me?"  
  
Tifa raises her hand: "OO OO ME ME!! I haven't had a good fight in a long time."  
  
Zell: "Sorry, I don't like to fight women."  
  
Tifa stands up, walks over to Zell and begins beating on him. After a while Zell attempts to fight back, but instead is beaten on even harder.  
  
Zell: "I give I give!! I want my mommy!!!"  
  
Rinoa: "Hey wait for me!"  
  
The two run out of the room, leaving Squall's charred body behind.  
  
Sephiroth: "I WIN!!! YOU SUCK AND YOU SUCK AND YOU SUCK!!! I RULE EVERYTHING!!! I AM THE CHAMPION!!!"  
  
Everyone: ...  
  
Sephiroth: "Don't you appreciate a true champion when you see one."  
  
Everyone: "Nope."  
  
Sephiroth shakes his head and sits down on the bed.  
  
Red: "I would like to try this FFVIII game."  
  
Cloud: "You don't have hands Red."  
  
Red: "Damnit. You're telling me they don't make a controller for my species."  
  
Cloud: "I..umm...don't think so."  
  
Red: "That's it, I'm sueing."  
  
Yuffie: "Uhh ok..."  
  
Cid: "Red's right."  
  
Tifa: "He is?"  
  
Cid: "Yea, I wanna see what this FFVIII game is like."  
  
The go down to the local video game shop and buy the game, then go back and put it into their PS2.  
  
Barret: "Wow, I'm alive."  
  
Yuffie bonks Barret over the head with a frying pan.  
  
Cloud: "Oo, backwards compatibility."  
  
Cid: "Don't you have a PS1 already?"  
  
Cloud: "Oh yea...well its still cool!"  
  
Cid: "Sure...whatever."  
  
The group begins to take turns playing them game.  
  
Tifa, who is pulling her hair: "Why does it have to be so boring? I mean, what's the point? Is there a story line?"  
  
Cloud: "I think its to destroy the sorceress that we haven't even heard about yet."  
  
Cid: "Ultimicia. I read about it on the internet."  
  
Sephiroth: "What a loser villian."  
  
Suddenly a boss fight begins with Cloud at the controller.  
  
Cloud disposes quickly of the villian with only a few moves.  
  
Cloud: "Wow, this game sure is easy, boring and long."  
  
The rest just nod and begin to wander about Cloud's room, looking for something else.  
  
Yuffie: "MATERIA!!!"  
  
Cloud: "Hey! Dont' touch!"  
  
Yuffie grabs the materia and runs off.  
  
Cloud jumps up after her. "Hey, wait, gimme that back!"  
  
Barret, who has woken up again takes the controller and begins to play. He dies in the next fight he gets in.  
  
Barret: "G#@$&#@)%*&#@)$(*#&!@%*!()$)#@%$ I HATE THIS!!!" He then takes his gun arm, shoots the PS2, the screen, and the controller.  
  
Sephiroth: "Oh great, now you've done it."  
  
Cid: "Cloud's gonna be pissed. He spent a lot of Gil on that baby."  
  
Barret: "I uhh...whoops."  
  
Yuffie runs back in, panting: "Phew, I lost him I think."  
  
Cloud jumps through the door and tackles Yuffie.  
  
Tifa: "CLOUD!!"  
  
Cloud and Yuffie both turn red.  
  
Cloud: "I uhh..."  
  
Yuffie: "Mind getting off?"  
  
Cloud: "Uhh...I...uhh..."  
  
Sephiroth picks Cloud up by the collar. "Dumb ass."  
  
Cloud: "Hey wait! I need my materia."  
  
Yuffie: "Here." She throws them at him.  
  
They both miss and hit Sephiroth in the head.  
  
Sephiroth: "Ow! Stupid little girl."  
  
Yuffie jumps up and Sephiroth chases after her.  
  
Cloud: "What the hell happened to my state of the art entertainment center known as the Playstation2?"  
  
Barret whistling, quietly shuffles toward the door.  
  
Cloud turns his attention to Barret, his Buster Sword drawn.  
  
Barret: "It was ahh...well...lemme explain...you see-"  
  
Cloud: "OMNISLASH!!!"  
  
Barret: "AIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" After the Omnislash Barret lays cut and bruised on the floor.  
  
Cloud: "Oops..." He then gets out his PS1 and begins to play it. The others huddle around in silence, not wanting to upset Cloud, and watch as he plays through FFIX.  
  
Sephiroth: "I'll get you Yuffie!"  
  
  
_-End-_ 


	2. Day 2

Disclaimer: All the stuff in here belongs to the people who made it. Gamecube to Nintendo. Ps2 and PsOne to Sony. X-Box to Micro$oft. TRU to the chain of Toys R Us stores. And anything else that belongs to anyone belongs to them and not me.  
  
"Hummmm..." Cloud gazed through the racks of video games at his local Toys R Us. "Damn, 'We are currently out of this game, but check back soon for more copies'" He read to himself  
  
"Yo Cloud, hurry the hell up! I gotta piss!" Cid shouted at the spikey blonde man as he danced around wildly.  
  
"There's a bathroom in the back..." Cloud mumbled, eyeing many different games carefully.  
  
Cid: "What?!"  
  
Cloud: "I said there's a bath-"  
  
Cid: "Aww $#%#@!!! I PISSED MY #%@$#@ PANTS!! @%#@!!! SON OF A $$#@%!! CLOUD, YOU #%#@$ PIECE OF @%#$#!!!"  
  
Cloud: "Nevermind."  
  
Cid: "NEVERMIND?!?!" He points to his pants, "Waddya call THAT?!?!"  
  
Cloud: "You had a soda with you and you just happened to spill it there."  
  
Cid: "You've had practice with this haven't you?"  
  
Cloud: "Uhh...OO Hey look, Chrono Cross."  
  
Cid: "OO hey look, Square trying to make a game better then ours!" Takes his spear and stabs the many tickets for the game.  
  
Cloud: "That won't help anything."  
  
Cid: "@#%@#$!!!"  
  
Suddenly a kid is seen browsing through the games along side Cloud.  
  
The kid suddenly bumps into him.  
  
Kid: "Hey mister, watch where you're- HOLY CRAP!!! CLOUD STRIFE!! 21 years old. Ex-Soldier. AVALANCHE fighter." The kid rattled on with about 50 billion facts, ending with this, "And you use Oral-B for your dental needs.  
  
Cloud: "Uhh...yea...You can leave now.  
  
Kid: "Humm." He ignores Cloud's comments. "And you're...uh...hummm..." He stumbles through his words as he stares at Cid.  
  
Cid: "CID!!!"  
  
Kid: "Humm...doesn't really ring a bell.."  
  
Cid: "STUPID %$@$#@ KIDS!! #%@$@#%"  
  
Kid: "OH! Now I remember you. Hey, you pissed your pants!"  
  
Cid begins chasing after the kid as Cloud continues eyeing through the games. He finally lands on Tony Hawk 2.  
  
Cloud: "Well, I guess I'll try it."  
  
He buys the game and leaves the store, Cid cursing as he watches the car drive off.  
  
----------  
  
Tifa: "I wonder when Cloud'll get back."  
  
Aeris: "Well, he is choosing a new video game you know. Remember how long it took him last time?"  
  
Red: "Yes, I remember. It took up a good portion of my life."  
  
Barret, who is laying in bandages on the bed: "How could I forget...that was the longest three weeks of my life..."  
  
Yuffie: "I woulda just stole em all!"  
  
Barret: "Why the #%@$ didn't you do that in the first place? It woulda saved us a helluva lot o time!!?"  
  
Yuffie: "Cloud told me that it would be degerading to the industry, and went on about how he couldn't bare to see perfectly good video games stolen or something.  
  
Barret: "#@%@#"  
  
Tifa: "Well, at least we've got better memories...like that racing game!""  
  
Barret: "Those aren't good memories."  
  
Everyone looks at Barret's bandages and casts and laughs.  
  
Cait Sith: "Is this my first time in this piece of literary art?"  
  
Yuffie: "No wonder you have such a small part."  
  
Cait Sith: "Did you just call me small?"  
  
Yuffie: "No, just your part."  
  
Cait Sith: "My part?! You sick little girl."  
  
Yuffie: "As in the role you play in the fic."  
  
Cait Sith, turning very red, even though he is stuffed: "I uh...knew that..."  
  
Aeris: "Always Coca-Cola!" She sings as she chugs a can.  
  
Cloud bursts through the door: "I'm BAAACK!!! Didja miss me?"  
  
Tifa embraces Cloud in a huge hug: "Of course we missed you Cloud."  
  
Red: "Although you were gone for several days I found it hard to "miss" you."  
  
Cloud: "Me too buddy!"  
  
Red: "Nevermind..."  
  
Cloud rips off the plastic stuff on his game and pops it in his PSOne, seeing as how is PS2 lay in smithereans on the floor.  
  
He quickly tries to open the game, only to have it crack. "Stupid $%$@#@ sticky thingys on the top!" He quickly tears it off and opens the case, which is now nearly broken into two pieces.  
  
Barret: "Hey, where's Cid."  
  
Cloud, who is already absorbed in the starting movie doesn't answer.  
  
Tifa: "He probably pissed his pants again."  
  
Aeris: "Hehehe, Remember last time?"  
  
Tifa, laughing: "Yea, that was classic."  
  
((Screen flashes back to past.))  
  
Cid: "OH DAMN!!! I pissed my #$%#!@%% pants!"  
  
Yuffie bursts out giggling.  
  
Cid: "Shut up! Not like you never pissed your pants Ninja girl!"  
  
Yuffie then bursts into tears.  
  
Cid: "Yea #@%#@$ shut your #@%$#@%^ face!!"  
  
Aeris: "Hey Cid, maybe you should get some diapers, incase, you know, it happens again."  
  
Cid: "Shut up you @#$%#@ whore!"  
  
Aeris slaps Cid, who then pisses his pants some more.  
  
Cid: "Damnit women I'm trying to hold the rest in!!"  
  
Tifa and Cloud are seen rolling around on the ground. They're not laughing.   
  
Aeris turns around and sees Tifa and Cloud: "HEY!!! I thought you said you weren't gonna do it until you got married!!!"  
  
Tifa turns red and Cloud gets up off her and quickly throws a sheet over Tifa and puts his clothes on.  
  
Cloud: "What are you delusional Aeris? We weren't doing anything."  
  
Aeris: "..."  
  
Cid: "Hello?!?! Did you forget about me?"  
  
Yuffie, who has stopped crying: "Hey, do you just do this to get attention!?"  
  
Cid: "#@$#@$ NO!! I have a blatter disease or something.  
  
Yuffie: "Oh..."  
  
((Flash back to preasent.))  
  
Cid bursts through the door, his pants soaking wet, his breath heavy. His eyes have an erie red glow to them.  
  
Cid: "Cloud...you...will...die..." He suddenly dives at Cloud, his hands out stretched to claspe his neck.  
  
Cloud simply ducks and Cid dives intop the TV screen. He bounces off and lays unconsious on the floor. Cloud continues busting some insane combos.  
  
Barret: "Hey Cloud, not bad..."  
  
Cloud: "Wanna try?"  
  
Barret nods and Cloud hands him the controller.  
  
Barret is quickly embarressed by recieving a score of 50.  
  
Barret: "#@%#@%^#@%" He tries to use his gun arm to destroy everything in site, but his casts restrain him.  
  
Cloud takes the controller and hands it to the women for a chance.  
  
Cait Sith: "Hey, why not me?"  
  
Cloud: "You're practically playing a video game already."  
  
((Flash to Shinra building))  
  
Reeve speaking into a mic: "Well...I uhh..."  
  
He takes the joystick and begins trying to beat the hell outta Cloud.  
  
((Flash back to Cloud's house))  
  
Cloud unsheathes his Buster Sword and makes quick work of the stuffed doll.  
  
Cloud: "Humpf...Reeve, if you can still hear me, think about getting your own life from now on."  
  
Aeris and Tifa are bitch clapping each other, trying to get the first go at the game, and Red is seen with the controller in his hands.  
  
Red: "Wow, I figured out how to hold the controller."  
  
Red begins to pull even more insane combos then Cloud.  
  
Cloud: "Wow read, you're a natural."  
  
Tifa: "BITCH!!!"  
  
Aeris: "SLUT!!!"  
  
Tifa: "HOE!!!"  
  
Aeris: "WHORE!!"  
  
Tifa: "#%#!@$"  
  
Aeris: "Bar-tender!"  
  
Tifa: "Flower girl!"  
  
The two begin to pull on each others hair while spitting in the others face.  
  
Cloud: "Hey, coudl you two run down to the TRU and pick me up and new system."  
  
They ignore him.  
  
Cloud: "Stupid useless women..."  
  
He sighs and treks off to TRU once again.  
  
He looks at the lineup of systems. Playstation 2, Gamecube, X-Box, No-Name-Company-Funny-Named-Game-System.  
  
Cloud: "Humm..." He grabs the nearest employee and shoves his face in the four consoles. "Which one is the best?"  
  
Scared as hell employee in squeaky voice: "I uh don't really know sir, but I uh would go with the X-Box but I uh am getting paid by Bill Gates to say that! 5 dollars everytime I say it. So I would go with the X-Box, really the x-Box is the best, deffinitely the X-Box, you wanna get the X-Box! It's 100% American!"  
  
Cloud: "I'm from Japan."  
  
Scared as hell employee: "X-Box X-Box X-Box X-Box X-Box X-Box X-Box X-Box X-Box X-Box X-Box X-Box X-Box X-Box X-Box X-Box!!!"  
  
Cloud takes out his sword and disembodies the employee. Then he grabs the No-Name-Company-Funny-Named-Game-System and leaves.  
  
He barges through to see that Tifa and Aeris have taken up the two player mode of TH2. They were really duking it up, and Cloud watched in amazement as the two racked up scores bigger than Tifa's rack.  
  
He blinked as he looked at the PSOne, which was now smoking. Then he watched as it exploded, and the two women continued pressing buttons, even after the screen became completely blank.  
  
Tifa: "Wait, what the hell just happened?"  
  
Aeris: "I dunno..."  
  
Cloud hooks up the No-Name-Company-Funny-Named-Game-System and begins playing one of his No-Name games.  
  
Cloud: "I think I made the wrong choice..." He mumbles, after beating the game within five minutes.  
  
Cid: "Erm... You're a dumb ass Cloud."  
  
Cloud: "Why thanks Cid old buddy old chum!"  
  
Cid: "Like I said..."  
  
Cloud: "Wait a minute..."  
  
Cid: "Figure it out sh#tlock?"  
  
Cloud: "I forgot to buy you diappers Cid!"  
  
Cid: "SHUT UP YOU STUPID SON OF #@%#$$#@ @#$!@$ !@$ HOLE!!!"  
  
Cloud: "Hey, let's not use four letter words like...Shut, and Hole! OK?"  
  
Cid: "Moron..."  
  
Tifa: "Hey guys, calm down."  
  
Cid: "At least we don't tear eachothers hair out?"  
  
Aeris: "Oh and we do?" She looks down at the lock of Tifa's hair she has clenched in her fist. "I mean, uh, yes we do. You're point?"  
  
Cid: "Ugh!"  
  
Cloud: "I want chicken I want liver!"  
  
Tifa: "Eww...Liver..."  
  
Cloud: "Do you prefer Splean?"  
  
Tifa: "I think I'm gonna be sick..."  
  
Cloud: "What, was it something I said?"  
  
Tifa: "Yes..."  
  
Cloud: "Oh i'm sorry...are you not a cannibal?"  
  
Tifa runs to the bathroom.  
  
Cloud: "I'm not a cannibal either, but I just thought I'd check and make sure she wasn't on either...I mean I've slept with her before. Who knows what she might do in the night."  
  
Cid: "You're still an idiot."  
  
Suddenly Zidane bursts through the door.  
  
Barret: "How the hell do other people from other Final Fantasies keep coming here?"  
  
Zidane is followed by a person who looks like a pirate, yet has a strange feminine aura about itself.  
  
Zidane: "I found this chick yesterday, man she's great in bed."  
  
Barret: "THAT'S A SHE?!?!"  
  
Cloud: "Well duh! That's what he said."  
  
Zidane: "Anyway, Its cause I got ditched by Dagger...and then I asked Freya to go out wtih me...maybe I shouldn't have asked her while she was in bed with Sir Fratley...Yea that was probably one of my biggest mistakes. Man I never knew they did it like THAT!!"  
  
Cloud: "Are you mentally disturbed?"  
  
Zidane: "No?"  
  
Cloud: "Genetically engineered?"  
  
Zidane: "Yes."  
  
Cloud: "I knew it was one of the two."  
  
Zidane: "How?"  
  
Cloud: "Well its goes a little something like this-"  
  
Barret: "OH s@%# man, you got him started again!"  
  
Tifa and Aeris join forces and stuff Cloud into the closet, who continues talking for the next hour or so. After he is finished they release him.  
  
He looks around, seeing Zidane and his new girlfriend dead.  
  
Cloud: "What the hell?"  
  
Everyone points to Cid.  
  
Cid: "Damnit, our game is the best!"  
  
Cloud: "K said...I think you should go see that psyciatrist I told you about.  
  
Cid: "Dead."  
  
Cloud: "How?"  
  
Cid: "Killed her."  
  
Cloud: "What aobut the other 5 I told you about?"  
  
Cid: "Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead, and missing in action."  
  
Cloud: "Oh..."  
  
Cid: "I have to go, its my bed time."  
  
Cloud: "Alright...I guess tomarrow or the next day...or maybe next week...well whenever, we're going to be venturing into the world of anime!"  
  
Everyone gasps.  
  
Cloud: "Yep, its true. Video Games meet Anime, next time. Same bat time, same bat channel! Dunnananananaunauanananuanna BAT MAN!!!"  
  
Tifa bonks Cloud over the head with a frying pan.  
  
Barret: "Damn, I should know that that hurts!"  
  
_-End-_ 


	3. Day....uhhh, well, its been a while.

Day ….uhh, well, its been a while: The Insanity Continues!  
  
Cloud: Well, like I said Anime or bust!  
  
Tifa: But Cloud, FFX came out while the lazy ass author was sitting around doing nothing!  
  
Aeris: Bitch.  
  
Cid: Shut your random ass!  
  
Cloud: Yea, well he's not as lazy as that one game developer…  
  
Barret: Shut yer ass, let's get on with this japanimaw or whatever the hell they call it nowadays.  
  
Cloud: Anime  
  
Barret: Whatever…  
  
Tidus bursts through the door  
  
Tidus: Damnit! FFX was released and you guys are gonna play that!  
  
Tidus hands a PS2 and a copy of FFX to Cloud  
  
Tidus: I even did the shopping for you, bought it and everything.  
  
Cloud: Wow…you guys must be desperate to prove you're better eh?  
  
Lulu enters: Yes, of course we are determined, because we are better.  
  
Cid: HOLY %@#$#@ HER BOOBS ARE ALMOST AS BIG AS TIFA'S!!!  
  
Lulu and Tifa both turn red at the mention of their large….er…umm….  
  
Cloud: Yea, but not quite. I've se-  
  
He's cut off by Tifa tackling him.  
  
Barret: Well let's take this baby for a test drive!  
  
He hooks up the PS2, turns everything on and looks at the pretty screen with floating blocks.  
  
Barret: Um….nothing's happening….  
  
Cloud: Put the game in der!  
  
Cloud quickly puts the FFX DVD in the PS2 while going over his NAVY SEALS training in TRU fassion.  
  
Aeris: Man, I need me a skirt, a really short skirt…preferably black.  
  
Tifa: Copy Cat  
  
Aeris: Copy bitch!  
  
Barret: Didn't I tell you two to shut yer asses?!  
  
Aeris: Our mouths?  
  
Barret: Whatever, it was a figure of speech.  
  
Cloud has already begun playing.  
  
Red: Wow, catchy intro.  
  
Cloud: He's playing some dumb sport, and what the hell is with that outfit?! He's wearing shorts that aren't even the same length, some booby protector or something…  
  
Tidus: You're wearing purple. Are you gay?!  
  
Cloud: Hey, see that sword?  
  
Tidus: What the big one?  
  
Cloud: Yea, the BIG one. I could put that through you're stomach before you could say Sephiroth.  
  
Sephiroth: Did someone say Sephiroth before they got stabbed?  
  
Cloud: Shut up.  
  
Cloud has continued on in the game.  
  
Cloud: What the hell?! No material, not even junctioning, what is this Sphere crap?! No level?!?!  
  
The entire FF7 cast gasps, along with the ghosts of the FF8, and 9 cast.  
  
Yuna: (in quiet, almost monotone, unemotional voice) Yes, and we talk too.  
  
Cait Sith: You suck!  
  
Wakka: Hey! Yo! Shut up ya?  
  
Cid: You talk funny you %#$%@#$!  
  
Cloud: SHUT UP! I'M TRYING TO LISTEN TO THEIR VOICES!!!  
  
(in game) Tidus: HA! HA! HA! HA!  
  
Yuna: HAAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAAA!  
  
Cloud: Um…what the hell?  
  
Sephiroth sits down next to Cloud: What the ^#$% are they laughing at.  
  
Cloud: Uh…I dunno, the gay one that looks like a girl is trying to be sauve with the girls or something  
  
Sephiroth blinks a couple times: Is he gay?!  
  
Cloud: Yea, I'm pretty sure, kinda like that Irvine guy.  
  
Sephiroth: Yea, he tried to suck my-  
  
Aeris: Didn't I try that too?  
  
Sephiroth: Yea, what of it?  
  
Aeris: You killed me instead.  
  
Sephiroth: You wanted 10 bucks!!! You're a 2 dollar whore at best!  
  
Aeris: Hey! That's offensive ya know!  
  
Sephiroth: Puntain!  
  
Aeris: That's French non?  
  
Sephiroth: I dunno, I think so.  
  
Cloud: Man, weapons don't even help your strength or anything.  
  
Barret: Does armor help your agility or anything?  
  
Cloud: Nope  
  
Red: Wow, that seems quite dull.  
  
Cloud: Yea, I'm bored.  
  
Wakka: Aren't ya gonna finish the game ya man?!  
  
Cloud: Uh, no man, I'm not. It sucks  
  
Tidus drawing his watery sword: Dude, you suck, now play the damn game!  
  
Cloud takes the Buster Sword, knocks the watery sword from Tidus and stabs the sword through him.  
  
Tidus: Ow, you damn prick…  
  
He then falls over, dead.  
  
Yuna: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Then she begins sending Tidus.  
  
Yuffie: What the hell are you doing?  
  
Lulu: He was supposed to be dead anyway, no real loss right?  
  
Cloud looking very confused: Uh…you guys are messed the frick up.  
  
Sephiroth has now gotten to the end guy: What the hell?!?! Is this some cheap ass joke! You can't loose to this faggot!  
  
Cloud: Well, ya couldn't really loose against you, I mean, me all pumped up with Omnislash and all.  
  
Sephiroth: I hate you.  
  
Cid: I hate him too  
  
Cloud: Oh go use a diaper or something.  
  
Cid: SHUT YER #@%$ FACE YOU SONOFA@%#%#@ ^$#%@#$  
  
Lulu begins to try and cast a spell on everyone. Cloud whips out a material and casts an Ultima in the general direction of the FFX cast.  
  
Lulu: What the? You can use magic too?! But you're not a magic user?! You have a sword!  
  
Cloud: Ok, you can die now!  
  
The Ultima blasts Lulu and Rikku, who hasn't said a word yet. And they go flying through the wall  
  
Cloud: Oh damn, I'm gonna have to repair that now.  
  
Red: I know some people that'll do it for cheap.  
  
Barret is seen in the background bashing the PS2 with his gun arm.  
  
Barret: I HATE YOU #@%@#$@#^$##@$#@$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sephiroth throws his Masamune to Barret  
  
Sephiroth: Here, use that!  
  
Barret: Wow thanks!  
  
However, Barret, not being a very good catch ends up as a Masamune-ka-bob.  
  
Barret: OW! %#$#@  
  
Cid: HAHAHAHAH! BABY!!  
  
Barret: BABY?!?! YOU T$#%WER)RT)&$#%)@#$)  
  
Barret then shoots Cid a few times before passing out from the beer he just drank, not the Masamune.  
  
Cid pisses his pants.  
  
Cloud: I TOLD you you need diapers.  
  
Cid: $(%&#@$)@#)$&@)$  
  
Yuffie: HAHAHHAHA! LOSER!  
  
She does the L sign on her forehead. Cid holds up the middle finger. Yuffie unzips her pants and Cid begins drooling. Tifa and Aeris laugh.  
  
Tifa: Jinks one two ten! You owe me a pop!  
  
Aeris: What the hell, its only if you say the same word, and that's so lame anyway.  
  
Tifa: Only cause you lost!  
  
Aeris: WHY GOD WHY?!?!  
  
Red: You have a God?  
  
Aeris: blinking yea….  
  
Red: Well I just thought since, the Planet, and Holy….oh nevermind.  
  
Aeris: …  
  
Cloud taking his sword out of Wakka: Man I HATED that guy. He was more annoying than Yuffie stealing my material!  
  
Yuffie's in the corner counting little orbs: Whaaaa?!  
  
Cloud: Erm….nothing.  
  
Yuffie: Ok, good.  
  
Cloud: Hey! My new PS2! WHAT THE HELL?!?! CAN'T YOU GUYS DO ANYTHING RIGHT?!?!  
  
Sephiroth points to the passed out Barret.  
  
Cloud just grumbles, seeing the Masamune stuck in Barret  
  
Cloud: Got Milk?!  
  
He seems to find this very funny and begins rolling around on the floor laughing. Tifa doesn't really find it funny, but she begins rolling around on the floor, getting some action going with Cloud.  
  
Aeris decides she wants some too, and ravages the two rolling around on the ground. Cloud laughing the whole time.  
  
Barret: DUDE! You're getting a Dell!  
  
He then goes back to laying passed out on the floor, this time due to the loss of blood.  
  
Red: Perhaps we should get him to a hospital  
  
Yuffie is plucking Barret's material straight from his body  
  
Yuffie: Uh…yea, sounds good.  
  
Cloud: I want Tony Hawk 3  
  
He looks at his busted up PS2  
  
Cloud: That's it, I'm getting an X-Box  
  
Tifa: CLOUD! NO! NOT THE DARK SIDE!  
  
Sephiroth: Yes! Buy the X-Box Cloud! And, just FYI, I'm you're dad.  
  
Cloud: WHAT?! WHAT THE HELL?!?!  
  
Sephiroth: Hojo's your mom.  
  
Cloud: Doesn't that make you gay or something.  
  
Sephiroth: I Don't like to talk about my past.  
  
Cloud: But you jus-  
  
Sephiroth: SHUT UP! STOP TALKING TO ME!  
  
Cloud, blinking, runs out the door to find his local EB  
  
@EB Store nearest Cloud  
  
EB Employee: Der, so you likin the new Sphere System that Final Fantasy ex incorporates into its flawless, seeming graphical gameplay mixed with its emotional voices?  
  
Cloud looks at the employee, stunned at his nerditity.  
  
Cloud to himself: I'm reading an 11 on a scale of 1 to 2 of nerdyness.  
  
EBE: I love Yuna! She's my girlfriend.  
  
Cloud eyes him, wondering if he dares ask the next question.  
  
Cloud: Did you like Tifa?  
  
EBE giggling: nerdy laugh* she had big boobies!! nerdy laugh  
  
Cloud looks at the man disgusted he's of the same race.  
  
EBE: So ya looking for anything inparticular?  
  
Cloud: A new system.  
  
EBE: Definitely the X-Box  
  
Cloud: I figured you would say that. I've even got your speech here, all typed up, talking about its graphics, and stuff.  
  
EBE: Yes, it-  
  
Cloud covers his mouth, grabs a system and hands over the money, then runs from the store with a copy of Halo in hand.  
  
EBE: I LOVE YOU!  
  
Cloud: AH!!!  
  
The EB Employee begins chasing Cloud down.  
  
  
  
Back at Cloud's house, Barret has been taken to the hospital, and everyone is watching Tifa and Aeris mud wrestle.  
  
Cloud arrives, barely able to stand with the X-Box, extra controllers, and Halo in hand.  
  
Cloud: Inside! Now! Halo! Action!  
  
Cloud runs inside and begins setting things up.  
  
The rest walk in after the match, and Cloud is nowhere to be found.  
  
Cid: Don't' worry this is about as frequent as me pissin my pants.  
  
He walks behind the TV and begins chopping through wires, until he finds Cloud.  
  
Cid: Ah, glad I could help ya out.  
  
He takes Cloud, heaves him out of the mess of wires, and follows.  
  
Cid: See, I knew what was up.  
  
Cloud: Shut up, you can play 3rd player.  
  
Cid: Sounds good enough to me.  
  
Cloud: The rest of you can fight for 2nd and 4th.  
  
The rest of the characters begins struggling for a controller, except Red, who sneaks past em and grabs 4th player.C  
  
Cloud: Let's get ready to rumble!!!  
  
He starts up the game and goes straight to multiplayer. After choosing all the preferences and the hassle of creating a profile, 4 characters of FF7 began playing a few rounds of Halo.  
  
Now I could go into detail about this bloody mess, but I'm going to leave the find details to your imagination.  
  
Let's just say that 2 weeks later, and 15 surgeries, 45 destroyed X-Boxes, and 1245 thousand X-Box controllers later, we find them all asleep in Cloud's house, all except for Aeris, who is going around, ravaging everyone in their sleep. Mostly Cloud  
  
  
  
The End 


End file.
